“Later on couples usually want to split the costs – especially older couples," he says, adding that surprisingly "Among young people there is still a tendency for girls to expect their date to pay.” Blending commitment and independence is expected…Soon after he started dating a Swiss, Frenchman Martin* realized he was expected to keep his distance.But this ‘no effort’ mentality is a mistake when it comes to dating the Swiss.
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It is not a question of being stingy, however; it is about equality.
“I advise men to pay on a first date,” says ‘flirt coach’ Thomas Peter, who runs how-to courses in flirting in Zurich or by telephone or email.
“She would suggest meeting up only every two weeks, even though we didn’t live far from each other,” he says.
“I had to offer full commitment, but be prepared to have and offer a lot of independence too.” …so be clear when dating several people simultaneously While dating a few people at the same time is common in some countries, particularly America, it is not customary in Switzerland.
Just say, you live here now.” Sharing the cost of a date is normal If elsewhere men pay on dates, this is not always the case in Switzerland.
Alice*, a French expat in Zurich, reveals that although her Swiss boyfriend paid on their first date, he expected costs to be split 50/50 after that.
Swiss people may not be keen on making an effort when they know you are likely to move on in the near future, explains Tijmens.
She says: “Labelling yourself as an expat when you want to date locals is not always helpful.
But you usually need to date around to find the right match. Tijmens advises keeping each date to lunch or dinner – “absolutely no intimacy while you are dating several people,” she warns.